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Monday, July 23, 2012

A Very Active Child

My 7 year old son is very, very active.   In fact, he has trouble sitting still at school, at restaurants, at the doctor's office, at the dining table, etc. He runs and jumps all around in museums, in stores, and in people's homes.  And he touches everything. 

In addition to reminding him, scolding him, and lecturing him, here are a few things that we have tried that have worked -

  • Using a fidget toy. He uses it to keep his hands occupied during "circle time" at school.  We gave him a small textured ball for him to use with his teacher's agreement and encouragement.  It was made clear to him that this was a special fidget toy (his teacher called it "a strategy")  to help him concentrate, not a toy to play with.  It really helped him stay focused.

  • Using a rewards chart.  We created a special chart for him and told him that he will get a stamp whenever he is able to sit still (especially at restaurants!).  Once he collects 10 stamps, he gets a prize (usually pokemon cards or beyblades which are his favorite toys!).  We do not use it as "bait" - we do not mentioned it to him when we want him to sit still,  we just reward him with a stamp when he does sit still.  Whenever he gets a prize, we all clap and congratulate him on his efforts!

  • Using positive re-enforcement.  We praise him whenever he is able to sit still,  not touch things at a store, etc.  He looks so proud of himself whenever we praise him - now, he praises himself whenever he is able to focus or concentrate.

Does anyone have any other tips to share?

Sunday, July 22, 2012

He was 72.

My dad was 72 years old when he passed away from cancer. He did not know that he had cancer. He had stomach problems and went to the doctor because he thought he had indigestion.  I thought he would live to 102 and drive us all crazy.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

My Dad Passed Away

My dad passed away on December 15, 2011. On Wednesday December 7 at 6:00am, I got a call that he was hospitalized the night before. When he was hospitalized, he did not want the nurses to call me, but when he heard that he may have cancer, he asked the nurses to call me when it was morning. I rushed to the hospital and found him and my mom sitting the hospital room. They were very happy to see me.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Good TV Shows for 10 Year Olds

It is becoming increasing harder to find good TV shows for a 10 year old to watch. I find all the Disney sitcoms - "Good Luck, Charlie", "Wizards of Waverly Place", "Suite Life on Deck" and others - to have bloated caricatures of kids. They seems to be very superficial, materialistic and overly simplistic in their humor but with much exaggerated display of emotions. “Phineas and Ferb” is pretty good, but that is it. Nick, Jr. shows are too “kiddie-ish” and regular network shows are too mature. Does anyone have suggestions??

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Wow...it has been a while

Hello everyone! It has been a while. It has been difficult to write again since the magazine business closed. It was very painful to close that business. I had big dreams and high hopes. Yes, all the cliché stuff. It also closed due to cliché stuff – tough market, economy, not a good enough business model. The product was good, but the business model did not work. Now I know and next time I will do better.

The world has changed since the last time I wrote. Obama is president. My children have grown to be 10 and 5. I am older. I am working full-time again. I am doing good. My family is doing good. And I promise to write more often.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Parents for Parents(TM) magazine ceases publication...

Dear Friends,

We are very sad to say that we have decided to cease publication of the Parents for Parents™ magazine.

The magazine had reached a level of success - in 178 stores nationwide and 30 stores in Canada, 10,000 copies in distribution, etc. but it was not enough. Thus, the Summer 08 "Playtime!" issue will be our last publication. Thus, subscriptions are no longer available. However, individual copies are available through Order a Copy page.

If you are a current subscriber, please note that all the subscribers have been notified and refunded for any remaining issues left in their subscriptions. Please email us at Subscriptions@ParentsforParentsMag.com if you have any questions.

On a personal note, this magazine has been a labor of love for us. We are so grateful that we had the opportunity to live out this dream. We are also extremely grateful to everyone - writers and contributors - that worked on the magazine. It has been a true labor of love for them as well.

Thank you for all your support and enthusiasm that you have shown for our magazine since its inception!

Sincerely,

Parents for Parents™ Team


P.S. However, this blog will continue! Thank you for your readership and continued participation.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Barack Obama: "A More Perfect Union" Speech

No matter what presidential candidate you support and no matter what political party you belong to, Barack Obama made an important speech today that is worth reading.

Here is the speech in its entirety:

Remarks of Senator Barack Obama: 'A More Perfect Union'

Philadelphia, PA | March 18, 2008
As Prepared for Delivery


"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at its very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for our children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen - is that America can change. That is the true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.

Monday, February 11, 2008

IN THE NEWS - SNEAK PEEK AT OUR SPRING 08 COVER!

Here is a sneak peek at our Spring 08 issue cover:



Available after February 25, 2008 at all Hastings stores and other retail stores nationwide. Visit www.ParentsforParentsMag.com and click on Newsstands for a complete list.

This is our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY issue! We are extremely excited! We are truly grateful for your continuous and enthusiastic support. We could not be celebrating our one-year anniversary without you. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Martin Luther King, Jr -"What is in Your Life's Blueprint?"

Today, I took my seven-year-old son to a family concert to celebrate the life and words of Martin Luther King, Jr. It was an amazing concert - they read excerpts from some of MLK's speeches, Boston Youth Symphony Orchestra performed, and they showed videos of MLK making his famous speeches. I am not sure if my seven-year-old son absorbed everything but he left the concert at least knowing the works of MLK better and up close.

Of all the speeches they read, "What is Your Life's Blueprint?" speech struck a cord with me. MLK delivered that speech to students at Philadelphia on October 1967, six months his death. It is both relevant for children and adults as we ask ourselves what is the blueprint of our lives. Here is the excerpt that was read today at the concert:

I want to ask you a question, and that is: What is in your life’s blueprint? This is a most important and crucial period of your lives for what you do now and what you decide now at this age may well determine which way your life shall go. Whenever a building is constructed, you usually have an architect who draws a blueprint, and that blueprint serves as the pattern, as the guide, as the model for those who are to build the building, and a building is not well erected without a good, sound and solid blueprint.

Now each of you is in the process of building the structure of your lives, and the question is whether you have a proper, a solid and a sound blueprint. I want to suggest some of the things that should be in your life’s blueprint.

Number one in your life’s blueprint should be a deep belief in your own dignity, your own worth and your own somebodiness. Don’t allow anybody to make you feel that you are nobody. Always feel that you count. Always feel that you have worth, and always feel that your life has ultimate significance…

Secondly, in your life’s blueprint you must have as a basic principle the determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavor. You’re going to be deciding as the days and the years unfold what you will do in life — what your life’s work will be. And once you discover what it will be, set out to do it, and to do it well.

And I say to you, my young friends, that doors are opening to each of you—doors of opportunity to each of you that were not open to your mothers and your fathers — and the great challenge facing you is to be ready to enter these doors as they open.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great essayist, said, in a lecture back in 1871, that “If a man can write a better book or preach a better sermon or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor, even if he builds his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.”

That hadn’t always been true — but it will become increasingly true, and so I would urge you to study hard, to burn the midnight oil; I would say to you, don’t drop out of school. I understand all the sociological reasons why we often drop out of school, but I urge you, in spite of your economic plight, in spite of the situation that you are forced to live so often with intolerable conditions — stay in school.

And when you discover what you are going to be in life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it…If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept well. If you can’t be a pine at the top of the hill, be a scrub in the valley. But be the best little scrub on the side of the hill. Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be the sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or you fail. Be the best of whatever you are…

And finally, in your life’s blueprint must be a commitment to the eternal principles of beauty, love and justice. Don’t allow anybody to pull you so low as to make you hate them. Don’t allow anybody to cause you to lose your self-respect to the point that you do not struggle for justice…Let us keep going toward the goal of self-hood, to the realization of the dream of brotherhood and toward the realization of the dream of understanding good will

..We must keep moving, we must keep going. If you can’t fly, run. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl. But by all means, keep moving.


The complete speech can be found at http://www.phila.k12.pa.us/offices/communications/press_releases/2006/01/12/speech.pdf

IN THE NEWS - WAHM Talk Radio

Hello! I recently did an interview with Work at Home Moms Talk Radio. Kelly McCausey, the host of the show, and I talked about how Parents for Parents(TM) magazine came to be and what is like working for yourself. I had a blast doing the interview. If you would like to listen to or download the interview, go to http://www.wahmtalkradio.com. It is January 21, 2008 Show 211.

WAHM Talk Radio has excellent interviews every week with a mother entrepreneur and provides some great tips and support for people who want to work from home or own their own business.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

2008 - Here We Go!

Happy New Year!

Wow 2008 is here!

I am planning 3 goals in 2008. Just few basic changes to make to make things better for me and my family.

-Make few changes to make my family more healthy.
-Make few changes to conserve money and environment(both at the same time hopefully!).
-Make few changes to feel more relaxed.

I will be doing a lot of research to find the best changes to make to achieve my goals for 2008. I will share with you what I find in my research in a series of blog posts.

I wish you a great 2008!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Thought - What is the Appropriate Age for Walking Home from School Alone?

My son is in second grade and he is 7 years old. Right now, he has no interest in walking to school or from school by himself but I am sure the question will come up as he gets older.

What are your thoughts? What age is an appropriate age for a child to walk to school and back home by himself or herself? 8 years old? 9? 10? Never?

Friday, November 30, 2007

IN THE NEWS - THE WINTER ISSUE IS HERE!



The Winter 07-08 issue of Parents for Parents™ is here! The Focus Topic is "Cure for Common Children's Ailment".

Check out www.ParentsforParentsMag.com to get a Sneak Peek inside the issue, to order a copy of the Winter issue (or annual subscriptions) and to find out what Newsstands carry the magazine in your area.

Thank you for your continuous and tremendous support!

Friday, November 09, 2007

TIP - Growing Pains in Children

Last night, my 7 year old woke up three times in the middle of the night sobbing because he had a pain in the back of his right knee.

He has had it before. It is growing pains. The pain is always at the back of one of his knees. The pain is quite bad - he cries huge tears from it. The pain occurs one to five nights in a row and then it disappears for months at a time. It rarely happens during the day. In the morning, the pain is always gone. One time when he was 4 years old, it was so severe for 5 nights straight that we took him to see his doctor. The doctor took x-rays and did all sorts of test, only to conclude that it was growing pains.

There really isn't that much we can do for the growing pain. We massage the back of his knee - that helps a little. Sometimes we rub a little Ben-gay ointment(a tip I got from a co-worker who said he used to get really bad growing pains growing up and that his mother used to apply a little Ben-gay and it helped him) - sometimes it works, sometimes not. We put a hot water bottle or a hot compress behind his knee - this works most of the time but it cools off and falls off as he tosses around while he is sleeping. Last night, the pain lasted all night and he woke up every 2 hours from it. I still avoid heating pads because I don't like electrical cords in his bed.

According to Revolution Health website (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/parenting/teens-preteens/puberty-development/growing-pains), doctors like to rule out other causes first before deciding that the pain is caused by growing pains. Although it is called "growing pains", it seems to have more to do with children jumping and running around and being active and less to do with bones growing. It is quite common: 25% to 40% of children experience it. The pain is usually in the leg joint areas. It usually happens between the ages of 3-5 and 8-12. My son is 7 years old so it does not seem to always skip ages 6 and 7! That is many years of growing pains. I have a 2 yr old son as well – I hope he does not get it when he turns 3!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

TIP and IN THE NEWS - Sneaking pureed veggies into my kids' food

I saw Jerry Seinfeld’s wife Jessica on Oprah show talking about her book Deceptively Delicious. The premise of the book is that you can hide pureed veggies in your kid’s favorite meals. Then the kids get the veggies they need and you feel better about what your kids are eating.

I have to admit this got me thinking about my own kids and how much vegetables they eat or I should say how much vegetable they don’t eat. Aside from potatoes and corn, they really don’t eat too many vegetables. This has been weighing somewhat heavy on my mind. When I give them vegetables, they pick them off the plate. Contrary to many people’s opinion, you really can’t make kids eat anything nor would I want to.

So the concept of pureeing vegetables and putting them in the kids’ meal made perfect sense! It made sense. My kids eat garlic, onion and other vegetables but only if they are cooked into their food like tomato pasta sauce where they don’t really notice all the vegetables. They eat broccoli but only if I chop them up really fine and putting it in their fried rice. Pureeing vegetables and “hiding” it in their favorite foods was just taking that next step.

So, I tried it. But I did it the “lazy” way, simpler way. I was not going to puree tons of vegetables and have numerous baggies in my refrigerator. I knew most of it would go to waste. I didn’t follow the recipes in the book, I simply added the pureed vegetables into foods I normally cooked. I pureed 2-3 vegetables of the same color (carrots and sweet potatoes or cauliflower and potatoes, etc.), put puree in a Tupperware container, and use that puree throughout the week. I mixed some into the hamburgers. I mixed some into mac and cheese. I mixed some into pancake mix. I mixed it into meatloaf. I was not going to try to add the puree to everything I cook I just added it whenever the color and the taste of the puree would not stand out too much. And it does work! The kids (my 7 year old and my 2 year old) eat everything right up. I think the puree even made some dishes taste BETTER.

As an aside, I did not really like the idea of “sneaking the puree in” as if I was “tricking” the kids. I just added puree into what I was cooking out in the open, in plain view. They did not even pay attention; they just assumed that it was just another ingredient. They probably assumed that their favorite dishes were always cooked that way.

Also, I did not buy the Deceptively Delicious book, because I found out that there was already a book out there called The Sneaky Chef. This book too was able pureeing vegetables and putting them in everyday dishes. I decided to buy this book instead. The best tip the book had was – if you don’t feel like pureeing vegetables or if you don’t have the time, then just use baby food. There are many jars of pureed vegetable baby food.

UPDATE:  July 23, 2012

I still put in a jar of baby food puree of sweet potato into the brownie mix. The brownies come out great.  My kids are now 12 and 7 and they do not notice the difference.  In fact, my 12 year old helps me make the brownies and puts in the jar of veggie puree into the mixing bowl himself!  He calls it "Mom's secret ingredient!"

Thursday, October 04, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Surgery to get rid of pregnancy fat?

Now, I am not happy with my tummy flab after having two babies, but somehow surgeons packaging a set of plastic surgeries targeting mommies and calling them “mommy makeover” offends me. See the article link below from NY Times. These surgeons seem to think that mommies can't possibly be okay with their bodies after having babies. I have nothing against plastic surgeries and people who choose to get them, but packaging them to target mommies bothers me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/04/fashion/04skin.html?th&emc=th

What are your thoughts?

Mom's Overture by Anita Renfroe

TOO FUNNY! Take a look and listen.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Possible First Ladies in the Presidential Race

There is a great article in the Boston Globe newspaper with profiles of the wives, possible First Ladies, of the 2008 presidential candidates. It was interesting since we usually do not get a close look at them except to see them stand next to their husbands on a podium after a debate. The article did not have a profile of Bill Clinton assuming that we knew enough about them already.

Here is the link to the article:

http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2007/10/02/some_women_who_could_be_first_lady/

Monday, October 01, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Survey Participants Needed for Parents for Parents™ magazine

For the Parent Point of View section of the Parents for Parents™ magazine, we continuously conduct surveys to gain some insight into today's parenting world and to gather recommendations for other parents, especially for specific issue topics. In the last survey about "Finding Balance in Your Life", we received 640 respondents!

We are currently conducting a survey focusing on the Winter 2007 issue topic – "Cures for the Common Ailments" - over the counter medicines or natural remedies for colds, allergies, diaper rashes, etc. If you would like to participate in the survey to share what you currently do for your children's common ailments, please click on below link:

Parents for Parents™ Magazine Parent Survey Version 3.0 Winter Issue

You must be a parent to participate in the survey. All your responses will be anonymous and to thank you, we will email you a $5 Amazon.com gift certificate for completing this survey. Feel free to forward this email to other parents you know who may be interested in participating in this survey.

Thank you for your participation and contributing to our magazine –only with contributions from other parents, can this magazine truly meet the needs of today's parents!

OCTOBER 12TH UPDATE: THE SURVEY IS CLOSED. We discovered that there was an error in the survey service program. The survey did not close automatically as it was supposed to do when the first 100 people responded. Between September 28(the day the survey was created) to October 11, we had gotten 46 responses. Then, much to our shock, on Friday October 12th , more than 5,000 people responded in that one day! The survey service program did not notify them that the survey was closed after the first 100. It also appears that our survey had been listed on websites unrelated to parenting which had a much larger audience than we were are used to or were expecting which may have caused the incredibly high pike in response. We sent emails last night as soon as we discovered the malfunction in the program, notifying people who responded after the first 100 that their response will not be used in the results of the survey and that, unfortunately, we could not honor the $5 Amazon.com e-giftcard to the more than 5,000 unexpected respondents (we had planned for only 100). I sincerely apologize for this confusion and error! I will definitely make sure that this type situation never happens again!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Some of you may not know that our magazine - Parents for Parents™ - offers a free e-newsletter! It is a great way to get previews of the upcoming magazine issues and like the magazine, it is content-heavy and advertisement-light.

The free monthly e-newsletter provides:

-Sneak peeks at upcoming issues of Parents for Parents™ Magazine.
-Full length articles from past and upcoming issues.
-List of helpful resources for parents and families.
-Exclusive discount offers for Parents for Parents™ Magazine subscription and single issue orders.
-And more!

Also, for a limited time, you will receive a complimentary issue of Parents for Parents™ Magazine when you sign up for the free e-newsletter!

Go to www.ParentsforParentsMag.com to sign up!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

IN THE NEWS, TIP - Best Diapers for Your Baby

Which diaper is best for your baby?

Accordingly to one of my favorite mags, ShopSmart from Consumer Reports magazine editors, after testing 7 diaper brands, they recommended the following:

“Top Pick”:
-Pampers Cruisers. They fit well and prevented leaks. About $37 per month’s use.

Bargain Buys”:
-Pampers Baby Dry with Caterpillar Flex. Worked almost as well as Pampers Cruisers. About $29 per month’s use.
-White Cloud (from Wal-mart). Works well. About $29 per month’s use.

Pamper brands are available at most supermarkets and retail stores. White Cloud is available only at Wal-Mart.

Monday, September 10, 2007

TIP - Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease

My two-year son came down with the Hand Foot Mouth Disease and it was no fun.

It started with a fever of 101 degrees. I knew he was not feeling well because he was not himself. He was cranky, very difficult to please and had difficulty sleeping. The next morning, his fever was 100 degrees but I noticed some blisters in his diaper area and a blister on his hand. I suspected Hand Foot Mouth because I had seen a notice at my son’s day care that a couple of kids had come down with it. I called the doctor.

I told him the symptoms and the doctor confirmed that my son had the Hand Foot Mouth Disease. Here are the basics:

-Hand Foot Mouth Disease is NOT the same as Foot and Mouth Disease (also called Mad Cow's Disease) which occurs in animals. They are completely different.
- It is called Hand Foot Mouth because the symptoms show up as small blisters/sores on the hands (usually on the palm), feet (usually on the bottom) and inside the mouth.
- It is not serious and goes away on its own in about a week.
- It is most common among young children.
- It is a viral infection and very contagious so when a kid in a group setting gets it, most likely other kids will get it as well.
- The incubation period is 3-6 days BEFORE they show any symptoms. No one knows the kid has it and is contagious until after he shows the symptoms! In fact, when they show the symptoms, they are usually not contagious after that. As long as they don't have a fever, they are fine to go back to school or daycare even with the blisters.

The fever went away pretty quick; it lasted about two days and was never very high. However, the sores are very painful. The sores on my son's hands and feet did not bother him at all, but the sores in his mouth made him absolutely miserable. He had SIX of them in his mouth including one right on the tip of his tongue. They looked just like canker sores. They hurt them when he talked, when he laughed, when he ate and when he drank. It was almost unbearable to watch. Doctor recommended that we avoid all acidic foods like orange juice, etc. and to serve him only soft food. He seemed to be able to drink milk just fine and we feed him some rice crispies cereal after the crispies softened in the milk. After a while, he did not even want to eat anything because he knew it would be painful. Finally we got some baby Orajel and used it on his sores. The relief seemed to last only a short time - maybe 30-60 minutes but it gave him some relief. The doctor also recommended Children's Tylenol for the painful sores, but it really did not help his mouth sores at all. Finally after about 3-4 days, the sores were better and he was back to normal.

Like I said, it was no fun! However, it was comforting to knew that it would go away on its own in a week’s time! I found the best information on this site:

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/parenting/childs-health/childhood-infections/hand-foot-mouth-disease?section=section_00

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Sneak Peek at the Fall 2007 Issue COVER!

Here is a sneak peek at our Fall 2007 issue COVER of Parents for Parents™ magazine:


Monday, August 20, 2007

TIP - Helping Toddler Build Vocabulary

My 2 yr old son is talking up a storm. Of course, it is very difficult to understand him. As I have found out with my older son, the best way to increase toddlers' vocabulary and improve their dictation is to repeat back to them whatever they said in the complete sentences.

For example:
When my son says, "Cookie" - I say to him, "You want a cookie?"
When he says, "Booboo" - I say back to him, "You have a booboo on your leg."
When he says, "Up. Up." - I say back to him, "You want Mommy to pick you up?"
I never correct him, I just "repeat" back his words to him in complete sentences.

After few months of this, I started to tell him to repeat after me.

For example:
When he says, "Mommy, up" - I say, "Say: Mommy pick me up please." When he repeats it after me(even if the dictation is not correct), I pick him up right away.

If he continues to say, "Mommy, up" then I again say to him, "Say: Mommy pick me up please". He quickly realizes that he will not be picked up unless he says it and immediately says the full sentence. After a few repeats of this routine, he automatically says, "Mommy pick me up please" whenever he wants to be picked up.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "Finding Balance in Your Life"

Here is an article that I wrote for the August/September edition of Boston Women's Journal about finding balance in our lives based on the survey results for the Point of View section for our Parents for Parents™ magazine.







A Mother of Two’s Guide Series – Finding Balance in Your Life
By SK Joun

Balance in life. We all want it, we all crave it, and we all know we should have it, but we all cannot seem to quite find it. Balance in life is elusive and diverse as happiness. Like happiness, levels of balance - and the areas of our lives where balance is most needed - are different for everyone. And just like happiness, balance is not something we have to find only once and it stays with us. Something new always comes along and knocks us off balance and if we are not careful, while we are not looking, it slips away a little bit at a time. For the upcoming fall issue of the Parents for Parents™ magazine (www.ParentsforParentsMag.com), we conducted a survey of parents from across the country on the topic of finding balance.

When the parents were asked, “Which ONE balance issue is the most critical to you and your family?”

• 49% said Balance between work and family.
• 31% said Balance between self and family.
• 9% said Balance between immediate family (household) and extended family (parents, siblings, uncles/aunts, in-laws).
• 7% Balance between their wishes/dreams/goals and their spouses/partners’ wishes/dreams/goals.
• 4% said Other.

Since balance between work and family was the most critical to families, we asked the parents for ways they find balance between work and family. Their techniques were diverse and some quite simple. Here is a sampling of those techniques:

Keep a clear line between work and family. Try not to bring extra work back home. Establish a good schedule for kids. Then parents have more control of time.

I changed my work schedule to get home one hour earlier, but go in one hour earlier, as well. I stopped wasting time at night when friends would call every night just to chat and now limit it to only one night a week. I just let my voice mail pick up and don't call them back until the one night I chose to chat. I stopped bringing work home from the office so I could spend more time in the evenings and at night with my son.

Plan ahead, know each other's calendar and distribute the task; hire a part-time sitter

Learning to say NO to things outside our family that are NOT a priority and being OK with it. Being organized so that we have more time to do family things ...having a family meeting so we know what the week looks like and don’t add in things and overwhelm the family or the mom.

During dinnertime, we turn off the TV and talk together (like what happened in school or how to spend this weekend). This way, we can spend family time. Also I am trying not to say I am tired ... because that makes kids worry about me.

Both parents share the household work; we don’t bring office tensions back home.

We pick 2 nights a week as family night and play board games or go for a walk or to the park. My husband and I take turns spending one on one time with the kids.

We all like to get in bed together and watch movies on the weekends, which is the only time my husband has off from work.

As the above tips suggest –sometimes the little things are the things make us feel balanced. Many little actions and steps get us to the greater goal of finding balance in our lives.

Sometimes the big changes that are needed for balance in our lives do not happen quickly enough or sometimes are not even feasible (like not working, finding a full time nanny or taking long vacations). We can still get some peace and some sense of balance by tweaking small parts of our lives or starting something new. For example, in some years of my corporate career, I was rarely able to complete projects. Most projects were either very complicated and took many years to finish. Some projects morphed into completely different projects. I was feeling “out of whack”, fragmented, and downright cranky! I needed an outlet for my need to finish something. One day, I saw some yarn at a craft store and remembered that I used to enjoy crocheting as a child. I eagerly bought three rolls of yarn and quickly completed a scarf for my husband and baby blankets for my children. I was not a good crotcheter, but I got immense satisfaction in planning a crochet project and then looking and touching the finished product! Every couple of weeks (or months depending on my need), I finished a crocheting project. Eventually after a few years, I took the big step and started my own business (the big change that was needed) but in the meantime, crocheting was an excellent method of appeasing one of my basic core needs – my desire to finish something!

Once I interviewed a work life coach, Teri Heard Ralbovsky, for a radio show. She stated that balance in life is NOT a scale where things are equal on each side. Since we cannot possibly find balance in every aspect of our lives, we should look at what is important to us based on our core desires and needs and then taking steps to satisfy them. When we are balanced in the area that is most important to us, then we are balanced overall.


Read more about “Finding Balance in Your Life” in the Fall issue of Parents for Parents™. The magazine is available on www.ParentsforParentsMag.com, www.magazines.com and many retail stores.
If you have tips or thoughts that you would like to share with other parents, visit www.ParentsforParentsMag.com and post your ideas. Remember, other parents are the best resources - they are the real "experts" on parenting!

Monday, July 30, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "Family-Leave Values"

According to this article, "Family-Leave Values" in the NY Times today, people are losing their jobs due to family leave issues. Amazing!

Here is the link to the article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/magazine/29discrimination-t.html?pagewanted=6&_r=1&th&adxnnl=0&emc=th&adxnnlx=1185804131-j1srVjT1XbXubC9VTPXohQ

Monday, July 16, 2007

SIDE THOUGHT - "I will take care of everything. You just rest."

The other day, I was not feeling well. My nose was running, my head was hurting and my body was aching.

As we were having dinner, I was feeling more and more miserable. I turned to my seven year old and said, "I don't feel very well."

He looked at me and then opened his eyes really wide. He kissed me, wrapped his arm around my neck, and said, "Okay, Mommy. I will take care of everything. You just rest."

For a few minutes, I felt immense comfort and support. Of course, he could not take care of everything and I could not just rest, but EMOTIONALLY - he did take care of everything and I did rest.

It felt great to have kids.

IN THE NEWS - "The Anguish of a Part-Timer"

I saw this article in New York Times and thought it would sound very familiar to working mothers! The writer describes how she went part-time thinking that it would be easier, but it was not the case! She is going back to full-time!

Here is the link: http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F20E14F7345A0C768DDDAE0894DF404482

Monday, July 09, 2007

TIP - Childrens Vitamins that They Would Actually Take

I finally find vitamins that my kids will take happily - Rhino Gummy Bear Vitamins from Nutrition Now. I paid $16.99 for a bottle of 190 at Whole Foods store.

It won the 2007 Chef's Best Best Taste Award. I tried it myself, it tastes just like gummy bears.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Parent Survey for Parents for Parents™ magazine

Parents for Parents™ magazine is conducting a parent survey for the Fall 2007 issue. All participants who complete the survey will receive $5 Amazon.com e-gift certificate. All respondents will remain anonymous. The focus of the survey will be on "Finding Balance in Your Life."

Here is the link to the survey:

Parents for Parents™ Magazine Parent Survey Version 2.0 Fall Issue

Feel free to pass on the survey to other parents.

6/29/07 UPDATE. SURVEY CLOSED. TREMENDOUS RESPONSE - TARGET NUMBER OF PARTICIPANTS MET. GO TO WWW.PARENTSFORPARENTSMAG.COM TO SIGN UP FOR FUTURE SURVEYS.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

SIDE THOUGHTS - A Lesson Learned While Returning a Video

Last week, we went to the library to return some videos that we had borrowed. As we were getting out of the minivan to put the videos in the VIDEO RETURN slot, my 7-yr old noticed that one of the tapes was not rewound and said,

“Mom, it says ‘PLEASE REWIND TAPE’ right there on the video. We cannot return it without rewinding it first.”

I looked at the video. He was right, it was not rewind – we had forgotten to rewind it. It was too late to go back home. We had to go pick up his younger brother from school in 30 minutes and we were running late. The video was due back today. Late fee is $1 per day. I was silent as I starred at the “PLEASE REWIND TAPE” in bold red letters across the video.

“Hmm,” I said.

“We can’t return it without rewinding it first,” my son repeated.

“Yes, but it is due back today and we don’t have time to go back home to rewind it. And we don’t have any time to return it later tonight.”

“But we can’t return it without rewinding it first. It says to rewind right there on the video,” my son answered.

“Yes, I know.” I was silent again. I was searching my brain for a good solution because I knew my integrity was being tested.

“We can’t return it without rewinding it,” he repeated again with complete certainly on his face.

“Yes, I see that. But we are running late and the video is due today. What should we do?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

We sat there for a few minutes. I looked at my watch. If we didn’t leave right now, we would be late picking up his younger brother.

“Well, I am not sure what we should do,” I said. I was speaking my thoughts out loud.

“Let’s write them a note.”

“A note?” I said blankly.

“Yeah, let’s write a note saying that we are sorry that we did not rewind the tape.”

“And put the note with the video?” I asked.

“Yeah, we can just tape the note to the video.”

“We don’t have any tape in the car.”

“We can just put the note inside the video container. That will work.”

I found a piece of an old receipt paper and on back of it, I scribbled an apology note and tucked it inside the video container with the video.

“Okay?” I asked as I showed him the finished result.

“Okay,” he nodded.

I ran out of the car and put the video in the AUDIO/VISUAL RETURN slot in front of the library.

I ran back to the car and said, “Let’s go. We are running late.”

“Okay,” he said and strapped on his seatbelt.

As we drove off, I looked at him in the rear view mirror. He was singing a song he learned at school and was looking outside his car window as if the incident was already forgotten. Of course I will never forgot it. I had come very close to losing my integrity in front of my son. Thanks to him, I didn’t.

IN THE NEWS - Stay at Home Dad's Salary Less than Stay at Home Mom's Salary

I saw this article in the Boston Globe - stay at home Dad's salary is measured to be worth less than stay at home Mom's salary according to Salary.com. The link for the below article is:
http://www.boston.com/business/ticker/2007/06/dad_worth_10k_l.html?s_campaign=8299

Sunday, June 10, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "Kids + Money"

New York Times featured "Kids & Money," a film by Lauren Greenfield.

It certainly opened my eyes and think about how and what to teach my children about money. Be sure to click on all the kids to hear the different perspectives. Here is the link:

http://nytimesshorts.feedroom.com/?fr_chl=5ffba501e74c858c758a3b94dfc38a4d706d9777&emc=th

Friday, June 08, 2007

SIDE THOUGHT - Always a Fool

Yesterday, I ran into THE woman. I always make a fool of myself in front of this woman. For some reason, every time I speak to her, I say something that makes no sense, something that is stupid or I just ramble uncontrollably about something completely inane. In the few minutes we talk, I make a complete fool of myself.

After we talk and walk away, I always shake my head and wonder why I said what I said. She is an acquaintance - she is very nice and polite. It is not her at all. She must think that I am a complete idiot.

I tell myself each time - the next time I see her, I will not ramble. I will say something intelligent or at least relevant. I actually look forward to seeing her so that I can make another - different! - impression.

Instead, every time I see her, I again become a rambling fool who makes no sense.

Ugh.

Monday, June 04, 2007

TIP - How to Have Quiet Kids at the Grocery Store

Okay, the other day, I took my seven year old and 2 year old to the grocery store. As you know, these trips could turn out to be very stressful.

My latest try seem to be working so I pass on to you:

Lollipops - I gave each of them a long-lasting lollipop that they both LOVE and don't get often. I kept my eye on the lollipops and ended the shopping trip when it looked like the lollipops were licked down to the stick. I checked out, they were done with their lollipops, and I just wiped up their mouths with some wet wipes before getting into the car. It was a great trip!

So far, I tried it twice and it worked like a charm. Hope it works for you!

IN THE NEWS - Best High Chairs

According to one of my favorite magazines - ShopSmart;) from the editors of Consumer Reports, in the Spring 2007 issue, after testing 19 high chairs, they recommended:

"Bargain Buy" Evenflo Expressions Plus $60. They said, "Why we like it: The price is right. It's also very stable and super easy to use. This high chair is one the most adjustable models we tested. Where to get it: Babies R Us, Target and on line."

Amazon.com also has it for $59.99 with free SUPER SAVER shipping:
Evenflo Expressions Plus High Chair

"The Hot Seat" Graco Contempo 3800 $100. They said, "Why we like it: It's very stable but folds up very nicely to fit tight spaces. Also, the seat has a five-point safety harness, reclines, and has six adjustable heights. Where to get it: Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, Target, on line."

Amazon.com also has it for $99.99 with free SUPER SAVER shipping:
Graco Contempo High Chair - Graham

They did not like Mozzee Nest $570. They said, "The Mozzee Nest...looks groovy, but it doesn't meet voluntary safety standards because there's no integrated crotch restraint. So if you don't use the harness, your baby could slide under the tray and onto the floor. Also, the Mozzee, as well as the Svan Chair, $235, failed the forward-stability tests, which means they have a higher tip-over risk."

Good to know that higher prices do not always mean better!

Friday, June 01, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "Heavy TV Viewing Under 2 Is Found"

Here is an article from Boston Globe about how children under the age of 2 are watching lots of "educational" TV. The article can be found here:

http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2007/05/27/heavy_tv_viewing_under_2_is_found?mode=PF

Monday, May 28, 2007

SIDE THOUGHTS - Ants Are Marching in to Our Home and My Son Does Not Want Any of Them Killed!

It is that time of the year and the ants are marching into our house...I see them everywhere. However, my seven year old son does not want any of them killed. When he sees ant traps - he asks if they kill ants. And if they do, he does not want them! I don't want to lie to my son and I don't want to lessen his compassion for living things, but I don't want ants everywhere in our house and I can't continue to capture them and release them outside!

Has anyone else faced this problem and how did you handle it???

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

CONFESSION - I Behaved Like One of those Supernanny Show Parents (and I Mean Before They Get Help from Jo)!

Okay, it serves me right that a couple days after I publish an article about disciplining children that I handle a disciplining sitation very badly with my own child.

My 7-year-old son was playing outside with some neighborhood kids. I had already given him 10 minute warning, and then 2 minute warning to come inside. Finally when I called out to him that it was time to come inside, he shouted, "NO! I don't want to come in!" and slammed a bat down on the ground, right in front of his friends and right in front of my neighbor's house. First, I said, "Excuse me?" and then I felt anger rising to my head and taking complete control of my senses.

I said,"Okay" in a normal voice and I marched back inside the house. I shut and locked the door. Two minutes later, he came to the door and found it locked. I told him, "You said you did not want to come in so stay outside!" and turned away keeping the door locked. He started to holler and cry uncontrollably on porch - loud enough to alert all the neighbors that I was a horrible mother and to confirm that they would have handled the situation much better.

After a few minutes, I opened the door and said, "Is this what you wanted? Not to come inside?"

In between the sobs, he said, "That is not what I meant...I meant that I wanted to stay outside for a few more minutes."

I responded, "That is not what you said. You said, 'No! I don't want to come inside!' and then you slammed your bat down the ground."

He replied, "It was not my bat."

I shouted, "IT DOES NOT MATTER WHOSE BAT IT IS! You do not talk to mommy that way! I gave you a ten-minute warning then a two-minute warning and then you say, 'NO! I am not coming in!' to me! And then you slammed your bat - whose ever bat it was! - on the ground!"

He whimpered, "I didn't mean to..."

I said, "Okay, you can come inside. But next time, when I tell you to come inside, what will you do?"

He tried to come inside. I stopped him and repeated, "Next time, when I tell you to come inside, what will you do?"

He replied, "I will come inside," and he was allowed in the house.

But I was not done. I was still angry. I told him to go to his time out chair and while he was there, I started to rattle off all the things that I was taking away: "No dinner tonight! After time-out, wash up and go to bed. No family game! I am taking away all the magnets you earned! Go get your book that you got yesterday, bring it down here, you are not getting that either!"

My son looked shocked and started to cry even harder. I have never taken away dinner, his magnet points for good behavior, or family game before. He looked very sad and pathetic as he said, "I am sorry, Mommy."

This did not dissolve my anger at all! In fact, I got even angrier as I thought about all the things that happened that day. I said, "NO! No more sorrys! You have been saying sorry all day! You said you were sorry after you got upset at the library! You said you were sorry when you dropped the videos twice! You said you were sorry when you were yelling after I told you to talk in an inside voice! Sorry does not mean anything if you don't change afterwards! Wash up now and go to bed!"

I turned away and went to the other room. He followed me and said,"Mommy."

I was still angry when I turned to face him.

He said, "Mommy, can I have another chance?" in between hiccups from crying so hard and with tears in his eyes.

I was still angry. I looked at him and was silent for a long time. Finally, said, "Okay," and we hugged for a long time. I kissed him and told him I loved and that I always love him even when I was angry. Then I told him to wash up and have some dinner.

During dinner, I told him that I acted very angrily and that I took away many things that were not fair to take away. "I am giving you back the book because you earned it before today and I am giving you back the magnets that you earned before today. And of course, you are having dinner now. However, because of your behavior, you will earn no magnets today and I am still taking away the family game today. The way you spoke to Mommy and slammed down that bat when I told you to come inside was unacceptable. I know that you will not behave like that again the next time I tell you to come inside." I was still angry, but luckily my anger was no longer controlling my senses.

He listened and nodded. After eating his dinner, he washed up for bed, we read our usual bedtime book, and he went to bed happily.

When my husband came home, I told him the whole story and finished it with, "And I am STILL angry! I am angry at him for behaving that way! I am angry that it happened in front of my neighbor's house! I am angry that he cried so loudly on the porch. I am angry at myself for completely losing it! I acted like one of those Supernanny show parents before Jo helps them out! I am angry at all the wrong things that I can't do a thing about, but I am still angry that it happened at all!" My husband comforted me and said that he understood. He said to try to shake it off. He said that as parents, we are entitled to "flip out" every once in a while - we are human too. He said this is just prepping us for when our son is 15.

Later, as I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, I realized, as irrational as it was, I was still angry. I was not sure what I was angry at, but I was still angry.

This morning, I searched on my son's face and behavior for signs of permanant damage from our incident last night, but of course, he seemed fine. Of course my husband is right, we parents are human and we make mistakes. But we have the responsibility of raising another human being and we have to be extra careful. Sigh. I guess parenting is one of skills that I will always be learning "on the job" and will never completely master.

Monday, May 21, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "Disciplining Your Child"

Here is an article I wrote for the Boston Women's Journal for their June/July 2007 issue:





A Mother of Two’s Guide Series – Disciplining Your Child
By SK Joun

One area where all parents need additional information and support is disciplining your child. Few other topics tear at our emotions and our confidence as parents as disciplining. Our new parenting magazine called Parents for Parents™ magazine (www.ParentsforParentsMag.com) did a survey of parents from across the country on their disciplining practices.

In the survey, when parents were asked, “What behavior do you discipline your child (ren) for?” Many said for “not doing what you asked them to do”, “not listening”, “fighting with sibling”, “hitting” and “speaking in a disrespectful tone”. Some others were for “poor school performance”, “bad eating habits”, “behaving defiantly” and “breaking house rules.”

Many parents used similar disciplining methods: time-outs, taking away privileges (dessert, TV time, favorite toy, etc.) and spanking. Some parents were very creative in their disciplining methods:

• “If siblings fight, they must hold hands and complete a chore together (such as
cleaning their rooms).”
• “I have my oldest son write sentences.”
• “We mainly use positive reinforcement of good behaviors, a token economy system. Incorrect behaviors mostly results in loss of an opportunity to earn tokens.”

Many parents used other parents as resources for disciplining. They also used their own parents and friends as well as books and magazines. Among the books parents recommended to other parents on disciplining were:

• Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline
by Lisa Whelchel.
• Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care: 8th Edition
by Benjamin Spock.
• How to Behave So Your Children Will Too!
by Sal Severe Ph.D and Tim McCormick.
• Supernanny: How to Get the Best from Your Children
by Jo Frost.
• Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and
Reason by Alfie Kohn.

When parents were asked to write articles on their experiences and solutions to disciplining, the most common theme in the articles was to pick a disciplining method based on what you think will work best for you and your child. And pick one method. Trying too many different methods confuses the child being disciplined. Then be consistent with the disciplining method! Carry the method out – over and over and over and over (and over and over and over) each and every time an unacceptable behavior occurs. Continue the method even when it does not seem like it is working. Soon, you will know exactly what to do when your child “misbehaves” and the child will know exactly what will happen when he does. It is hard work, but of course, it is worth it. As one parent said her article, “Discipline…is like the foundation and framework of a house. Build a strong foundation with solid walls and your house will withstand the storms of life.”

If you have tips or thoughts that you would like to share with other parents, visit www.ParentsforParentsMag.com. Remember, other parents are the best resources - they are the real "experts" on parenting!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Able to Freeze the Biological Clock? "A New Fertility Gamble for Women"

For those women and couples who are very concerned about their biological clock, there is the option of egg freezing. I always thought it was very sci-fi and not an option for right now. However, it turns out that many women are opting for it and it may be a viable option. Here is an interesting article from the Boston Globe about how women are freezing their eggs so that they can have babies later in life and the risks associated with it. The link to the article is http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2007/05/06/a_new_fertility_gamble_for_women/?page=2.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

SIDE THOUGHTS - McDonald's Happy Meal Toys - Why "Girls" and "Boys" Toys?

My 6 year old son LOVES Wizard of Oz! He has seen the Judy Garland version at least 6 times. He has also seen the Muppets version many times. When McDonalds in April came out with the Wizard of Oz dolls, he was ecstatic! He wanted to go to McDonalds every week. For each new doll, he draws background sceneries for it. He would put it in the shoebox with others and he would play with them repeatedly. He even developed a Wizard of Oz play and wrote out scenes and dialogues.

There was only one snag in his bliss.

The Wizard of Oz dolls were considered a "girl" toy in the McDonald Happy Meal. Every time we went to order a happy meal, the folks who took the order would either automatically give him the "boy" toy, which was Teenage Mutant Turtles dolls (sorry, for boys, they are called figures!) or would correct me when I said I wanted the Wizard of Oz toy when they see my son.

My son could not understand why the Wizard of Oz dolls were considered a "girl" toy. As he said, "Both boys and girls can play with these dolls, why do they say it is only for girls?" Why indeed! It got me thinking. It is strange how we try so hard to break the stereotypes of female and male roles as adults and yet to children, stereotyping is done even at McDonalds!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "Mom's 2007 salary: $138K"

I think it is time all the stay-at-home moms got a raise!

Here is an interesting article from Boston Globe newspaper at this link: http://www.boston.com/business/ticker/2007/05/moms_2007_salar.html?s_campaign=8299

Saturday, April 28, 2007

RESOURCE - Website That Converts Files for Free

I found this great website that converts files for FREE! I just converted my wma music files to m4a files for my Blackberry MP3 player. Worked like a charm! Don't need know-how. Free and easy is good.

Here is the site: www.zamzar.com.

Friday, April 20, 2007

SIDE THOUGHTS - Signs That My Child Is Growing Up

My six-year son, turning seven next month, is growing up.

Here is the evidence:

1. He refuses to go to the Ladies Room with me at public places. He wants to go to the Men's Room.

2. He analyzes children's TV shows and points out how unrealistic they are.

3. He knows that commercials were made to sell you something.

4. He tries to understand adult relationships. For example, he thinks if a man and a woman kiss, then they must get married.

5. He is starting to see me not only as his mom, but as a person.

It seems to happen suddenly. For example, out of the blue, one day he declared that he did not want to the Ladies Room with me. He wanted to go to the Men's Room even if it means by himself. Wow. It blew me away.

Sigh. A sigh out of pride. A sigh out of missing my little baby. Sigh.

Monday, April 16, 2007

TIP, IN THE NEWS - Tools to Teach Children about Money

I am always on the lookout for ways to teach my children about money. I want them to know something beyond "money isn't everything" and "love is more important than money and things." I wanted to be able to teach them how to manage money.

I saw a piggy bank with three compartments for SAVE, SPEND,and CHARITY. I thought it was a great to way to start money conversations and teach my 6-year-old son about how money works, where it comes from, why we should save, when we should spend and how giving money can help other people.

It turns out that there are many type of these piggy banks. I found this site that goes thru them all:

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/CollegeandFamily/Raisekids/P100248.asp

Thursday, April 05, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Which 100-Calorie Snack Packs Really Taste Good?

As promised in an earlier post (dated February 18, 2007) where I reported to you what ShopSmart;) , a Consumer Reports magazine, said where the best wrinkle creams, here is what they said about those 100-calorie snack packs.

These 100-calorie snack packs are the latest craze - they are great for portion control but they may not always taste good and they are definitely more expensive than the regular size bags.

Here are the ones that ShopSmart;) magazine rated as tasting great and tasted most like their original counterparts:

• Cheese Nips Thin Crisps Baked Snack Crackers 100 Calorie Pack
• Cheez-It Right Bites Baked Snack Cheese Cracker 100 Calories Per Pack
• Planters Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp Baked Peanut Butter Snacks 100 Calorie
• Wheat Thins Chips Minis Multi-grain 100-Calorie Packs

Here are the ones that were "not even close" to the real thing:

• Chips Ahoy! Thin Crisps Baked Chocolate Chip Snacks 100 Calorie Packs
• Chips Deluxe Right Bites Chip Cookie 100 Calorie
• Oreo Thins Baked Chocolate Wafer Snacks 100 Calorie Pack
• Ritz Chips Minis Original 100 Calorie Packs
• Sandies Right Bites Shortbread Cookie 100 Calories Per Pack

I say buy the original and pre-pack portions in small plastic bags!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

IN THE NEWS - Majority of Mothers Have 1-2 Children

In the upcoming premier issue of Parents for Parents™ magazine www.ParentsforParentsMag.com, the Parents Point of View section, based on a survey of mothers earlier this year, showed that an overwhelming majority of today’s mothers – 69% of the survey respondents - have only one or two children. The respondents were from 22 different states.

Interesting! Is this true among your friends, family and neighbors?

Friday, March 16, 2007

Side Thoughts - It Still Happens

It still happens. I was reading a great blog http://catawampus.typepad.com and it reminded me of a topic that has peeved me for years:

People still assume that the mother, even in a two-parent family, is the primary care provider. Not only do they assume it, they expect it. Heck, they even freely comment on it when it is not the case.

In our case, my husband and I have been and still are both working parents. Even if people know this and even if they don't, the line of questions and comments are the same.

When I was pregnant with my first child, people asked me "Do you plan to continue to work after the baby is born?" No one asked my husband this question.

When I was pregnant with my second child, people asked me,” Now that you will two children, do you plan to continue to work after the baby is born?" No one asked my husband this question. If they did, it was to ask about ME continuing to work.

When I was out with my friend, we ran into friend of hers. Upon finding out that I was a mother and seeing that I did not have the kids with me, she asked me, "So is your husband babysitting?" No one asks my husband if I am "babysitting" his children when he is out without the kids.

When I run into someone I know and I do not have the kids with me, he/she ask, "Where are the kids?" People ask my husband, HOW are the kids; people ask me, WHERE are the kids.

There are all kinds of rational reasons why this still happens. But all those rational reasons does not make the FACT THAT IT IS STILL HAPPENS bug me any less.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

SIDE HUMOR - "Excuse Me!"

My two year old son has been talking up a storm - we can't always understand him - but he is picking up new words every day.

The other day, when he passed gas, he patted his bum-bum and said, "EXCOOOSE MEE!"

I laughed and laughed thinking it was cute. That of course made him want to pass more gas and his little face turned bright red as he kept trying.

Ahh, things I have to blackmail him with later in life....

Saturday, March 03, 2007

IN THE NEWS - "The Care Crisis"

I found this article by Ruth Rosen that will appear in The Nation later this month. I think many working mothers can relate to this article.





This article can be found on the web at
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20070312/rosen